Reform UK
- The Lion of Brexit would be chuffed!
- Down with the unelected Eurocrats, down with the PC brigade! God save the Queen and the Union Jack!
The Reform UK Party (from Latin Reformus and Confusus, meaning “confused about what to reform”) is a religion founded to stop Brexit to keep Brexit alive forever. It operates upon the worship of Nigel Farage and the sacred art of blaming immigrants, the EU, and sometimes the weather for all national problems. They are best known for recycling old speeches, repeatedly promising “real change,” and confusing everyone about what exactly they want.
Reform UK’s main miracle is turning political defeat into eternal relevance, proving that if you shout Brexit loudly enough, eventually everyone will forget what Brexit even means.
History[edit | edit source]
The Brexit Party Era[edit | edit source]
Founded in 2018, the Brexit Party aimed to ensure the UK left the EU, preferably with a bang rather than a whimper. After achieving its primary goal, the party faced an existential crisis, leading to its rebranding.
Rebranding to Reform UK[edit | edit source]
In 2021, the party was rebranded as Reform UK, focusing on reforming everything from taxation to the way people queue. The rebranding was seen by many as an attempt to stay relevant in a post-Brexit world.
Policies[edit | edit source]
Reform UK's policies are a mix of traditionalism and pub logic:
- Taxation: Raise the income tax threshold to £20,000, because who needs public services?
- Immigration: Implement a points-based system, with bonus points for knowing the lyrics to "God Save the King."
- Energy: Scrap net-zero targets in favor of coal-powered everything, including smartphones.
- Law and Order: Introduce mandatory national service to teach the youth how to queue properly.
Electoral Performance[edit | edit source]
In the 2025 local elections, Reform UK managed to win several council seats and even a mayoralty in Greater Lincolnshire. Analysts attribute this success to a combination of voter apathy and a nationwide shortage of other viable options.
Controversies[edit | edit source]
Reform UK has been involved in various controversies, including candidates making questionable statements about climate change and Farage's insistence that the British Empire was "just misunderstood."
